There's An Idiot At Our Table

There's an idiot at the table

Talkin', talkin', talkin'

He's gibberin' like at Babel

Everyone else is baulkin'

Who could that idiot be?

There's an idiot here at table

Yackin', yackin', yackin',

Like an animal oot an auld fable

He could dae wi' a darn guid smackin'

Where could our prattler be?

A stupid tum-rumblin' eedyott

Who e'er could he possibly be?

Aw naw, aw naw, that blitherin' idiot

I realise, red-faced, 'tis me.

- ! ☹ ! -

My carefully thought-out insights are absolutely brilliant right up until the moment they leave my lips whereupon a remarkable transformation takes place, they transform into horseshit.

- ☺ -

It has taken an inordinately long time to accept the accolade bestowed upon me by my friends: "Nutcase".  

Nowt

What could I have done with my head?

Do you think I could have left it in bed?

What could I have done with my brain?

I feel like I've gone quite insane

It's crap to discover I'm "A Nut!"

My "Glorious Life"? "phut, phut"

The loser's path is far too hard

I always pick the very worst card

When you see me you can smile and reflect

Nowt to lose, means nowt to protect.

- ♫ -

I wage a war in an empty room

Menaced by enemies concealed in the gloom

The louder I shout, the harder I fight

The more I am bound, the chain pulls tight

Outsiders laugh, many jeer my plight

“Angry Old Git!” a most pitiable sight

What the Devil is this 'Truth' that will 'Set-Me-Free'?

What’s most frightening is, it’ll humiliate me.

Hrrmph.